Money for living?

I just got my monthly salary recently, as a person who waiting paycheck by paycheck i have to do budgeting and allocate my expanses so that i don’t overspend until the next salary. I grew up with having been thought that money is a devil root, because it makes a person become bad because of living a money. That why i don’t have a proper saving because of this myth that rooted in my head,until i get myself into trouble of debt that make me realised that i am the one is devil and foolish enough to get into money trouble.

That is why i get up and make up my mind to change my own mindset of money by making this few steps that i would like to share. I make this few steps by reading books about financial,follow some influencer from various social media and enroll some webinars.

Few years ago, i starting tracking my expenses by write it down on my financial planner. I am a fussy one so that i buy a fancy financial planner so that i was more courage to write down my daily expenses. But i tell is not easy for me as i tend to forgot to write down and most of the time i was frustrated whenever i saw the amount of the expenses i’ve spent that day. However i did not give up and re-do again every time i spent my daily expenses. It takes me 5 years to do it in a proper way and on my fifth year of practising this method, i manage to use my financial planner until the end of that year.

While using the financial planner, i make a list to buy or to pay so that i will not overspend the money. I also using a colourful paper to wrote down the list,so that i have a courage to stick on the list b 😉 . Of course this method also make me take a time to really stick on the list that i wrote,because most of the time i end up adding up the unlisted thing and overspend the money. Practice this method did not end me to became a perfect in budgeting but at least i stay in the ground during doing the shopping thing and my money just not get wasted with unused things.

I also practising every time during salary day,i put 10% of the salary to my saving account. Of course the amount is not a fancy one as my salary also just fit as a middle class one,but for me at least i had the effort to set a side my salary for saving. I believe whatever amount that i choose to save up,most important thing is my courage and consistency to save up every time my salary day arrive.

Beside of that, i also make a saving by put five dollar in my piggy bank every time i do my shopping. I choose this amount because for me,this amount easy for me to calculate and easy to remember to make a saving.

All of this methods that i had share,i still keep practising and percentage of whether this is really work or not is depend on our attitude and determination to upgrade our financial journey. I admit that it is not an easy road when i chose to make changes in related to money,but i do know that i have to do something to get out from making more huge mistakes and regret for the rest of my life.

For those that still struggling in adjusting regarding financial matter,don’t give up,have a courage and seek for the professional person for a help. Money is not a root of devil or evil,but it is our own attitude that making our situation rooting ourself to become a devil… see you again for the next post,stay safe and healthy. Have a nice day 🙂

Welcoming for the new month and new strength

I’ve been missing for couple of weeks as i was isolated and been quarantine after infected by the Covid-19, and yes i was so devastated after getting my result after i went to checking my RTK test after having a symptom. It was a nightmare to me as everyone know it is a deadliest disease at the moment. Thanks God and the emotional support i get from my family and colleagues by not giving me a stigma. I hope this world will become a better one for us to do our daily living normally.

That is why when the month of October arrived, i was grateful as a new month and new strength i have embrace to continue my daily living despite of i still in recovery phase of post Covid.

During my quarantine phase i was resting well to regain my health and motivation, i was doing a light exercise like deep breathing exercise. I referred a right technique from watching Youtube by professional physiotherapy that uploading their content. I was continue doing this technique for now as i still having long Covid and getting tired easily when walking in the fast pace, but i know with the strength that i have i can overcome this phase soon 🙂

With a new month, i hope i can maintain my healthy lifestyle as i starting to cut down the rice taking. This is because i feel dizzy when i eating my meal with the rice and this occurred during i was on my quarantine phase and i thought maybe because i had lost my sense of smell and taste,however this continue until now and every time i taking my meal with rice i feel the same. How strange it is, so i decide to cut down my rice intake.

Still about the healthy lifestyle that i began to practice is drinking a cup or two of green tea. During my quarantine phase, my husband making me a cup of tea daily. This is relieving my blocking nose and i feel relax at the time whenever i taking it. So i decide to continue drinking green tea as i feel relax and content with myself when i drink it.

I also starting my routine of hiking, however i notice that i still struggling to maintain my breath and getting easily tired. So i decide not to force myself and doing other easy exercise by doing a breeze walk. I don’t know how long i will have to endure this,but with the strength that i have i believe this too shall pass.

Starting this month i restart doing my journal, i had done my journal long time ago but because of my busy schedule this hobby of mine had been forgotten. During the quarantine phase, i’m asking my husband to give a note book for me to drawing but i was end up making a journal and i decide to continue my long forgotten hobby and i was content doing my daily journaling and hoping this will continue as long as i happy to doing it!

October is also a Rosary prayer month for us the Catholic, i already starting my Rosary prayer on 1st of October as i don’t have a time to do it for the last few years. I was feeling grateful for the event that i had get through along my quarantine phase, as it is a sign for me to repent and making my daily routine by praying. As i was neglected my inner peace by not taking a prayer as a tool of peace of my own soul, i am glad for having the compassion experience to make a peace with my own inner soul.

This new month i honestly regain my strength to continue my life and daily routine eventhough there’s no guarantee for us if we can make it through until the end of year 2021. I’m hoping for the best of everyday by saying my gratitude through the prayer, and i’m praying for all of those who reading my post for having a good health, happy and enjoying life. Till meet again on my next post, stay safe everyone 🙂



Living beyond our will

My lovely parents

When i choosing a picture to be uploaded for my story this time, i choose my the above picture that i’ve attached. It is because my parents struggling to make sure our life as complete like other kids in our neighbourhood so that i’m with my sibling did not been left out from getting a comfortable life. During the journey of my adulthood, i keep study hard to get a good result and getting a good job to repay our parents sacrifices.

However when i completed my study and getting a job, i found out that repaying my parents effort with the money is not enough as my job need me to standby 24/7 of saving others life. While my parents have to wait for my off day to accompany them when they’re sick. All the time i feel frustrated with myself and my situation as i cannot give a best time for them by looking after them properly. That’s when my mother give me an advice to live a life beyond the will, it saddened me but that the bitter truth i have swallow despite of getting paid by salary and give them a comfortable life.

It is also happen during i want to buy my first car during i getting my salary on my first year as a nurse. I already have a dream to buy a MPV car so that our parents and my siblings can get fit inside during our vacation, but during that time my saving as i a side for buying a car only make me to qualify to buy a small car. Once again i feel useless and frustrated for not able to take all my family together when we planning any vacation. And once again my mother tell me again to living beyond our will and appreciate everything that i already achieve.

Because of the struggle that i had on my childhood time, i try as best as i can to not overspend on my budget as i really afraid i will not get enough money until the end of the month. I still tracking my expenses every time i purchased a thing, and sometimes i tend to regret after i buying something fancy for myself as i remember that my parents didn’t get a chance to buy that thing during their youth time. I don’t know if this is normal to have a feeling like that, but one thing for sure i still living my life beyond my will.

Even i living beyond my will, i still get involved myself a debt as i had make a foolish decision long time ago. And i still struggle to paying it up paycheck by paycheck despite of living my life beyond my will.

Hopefully my story will give some lesson on you for living a life beyond a will, regardless of whatever you do and plan ahead of your life. Till we meet again on next story,stay safe everyone.

something to ponder

I was still in shock as i received a sad news regarding one of my relative loss in the battle of the COVID-19. How sad to think that this life is so unfair, but in this unpredictable situation it makes me to ponder something about this short life.

Starting appreciate life.

In the blink of an eye, we could lose our precious moment,people that we love,our own life and wealth. If before this, i like to grumble over a things or related to my work and workplace, but when i encounter losing a relative i began to ponder to starting appreciating everything in my life. Regardless of how hard this life i have to face, compare to the situation if i didn’t have a chance to do the things i love,hug my love ones and enjoying my favourite meals, i decided to appreciate the things and time that i had and taking picture as many as i want.

Don’t compare our life to another

I know that we already heard this words over and over again, but it is true that if we don’t compare our life to another one we become less depress. I used to compared my life with my friends as most of them already had a stable life by owning a house, a company,secure financial etc. While i still work with a havoc schedule,burden with debt, i always comparing myself to them until it’s lead me to depression and i have to get a counselling from the expert one. I struggle for a few years until one late night, i could not bear anymore, i said to myself enough is enough and i make a vow to myself DO NOT COMPARE YOURSELF TO ANOTHER. Of course it is ain’t an easy one, but something to ponder in ourself is give us a time to our own pace time and stop compare our life.

Writing a journal

I know not everyone like to write a journal, as it is more like to teenager things. However for me this is a powerful way to keep a memory and give us encouragement in whatever we wish for. Just grab a note book or if you need a good starting, try to buy a beautiful one then write down whatever crossing in your mind. If you don’t want anyone to read the journal, i suggest put it in the cupboard or in the place that only you will know it!

Taking a picture

Usually i will take a picture during on the special occasion like christmas celebration,on birthday party, but after what happen i began to take a picture whenever i go out during running an errands. I know i get complaint by my husband as he said i am too obsessed taking picture for my socmed. But for me,the time and the picture that i take will never come back.

My suggestion might not be your liking, i just stating my point that in this hardship of life we have to find our own strength to continue running our own pace time by not too hard on ourself. When we have something to ponder, at least we know what the purpose we need and we want to achieve in our life and lives. Till we meet again in the next one, stay safe everyone =).

Welcome september

September is my favourite month, as this month is the month of celebration of birth of me, my husband and my father. Sharing a birthday month with my love ones make me feel blissful and of course it’s saves time and money to celebrate it =).

This new month also bring hope to all of us by hoping this no-end pandemic will have at least a good hope by subsiding the death cases. Many of us already suffer enough hitting by this pandemic, hoping this month bring a new hope to us.

I’m sharing with my usual activities during my favourite month, as september also a month that will begin to have cold wind and heavy rain in my place.

During on september month, i’m with my husband usually having a trip to our local place to have a tour and playing like a tourist. Last year we went to strawberry farm and celebrating our birthday by picking up the fresh strawberry, and making some Vlog about it.

On the september month, i’m with my sibling also arranging a birthday party for our father and celebrating it together with the september babies among my family members. It is because most of my relatives are born in this month, so making a merrier birthday party. How i missed those time..

September also a christmas aura, as a plant that we called christmas flower will start to bloom by this month. I always love to see this this flower whenever i go back to my village, it is growing wildly in our backyard and the christmas atmosphere really hit me so hard.

During this month, usually i will rewarding myself by buying a new thing to myself as to celebrate myself as turning to the new age. This time around, i still don’t have any idea what will i buy to myself as i was grounded by my job. Hopefully something useful will pop out from my head to get me something new one.

Whatever activities i have plan for this month, i really hope something good hope for the earth to recover from this pandemic. It is because september is a beautiful month to make a new adventure and discover ourself, not by tagging a quote ” wake me up when september end” as this september is a new month for us to make a useful and meaningful memory in our life.

Till we meet again on the next chapter, stay safe everyone.

Positivity enhancer

In this havoc pandemic crisis that seems have no ending story, it is hard to maintain a positive mind to get through our daily life. However i believe that there is still some of us keep maintaining our positivity momentum in this middle of crisis.

I would like to share some tips of positivity enhancer to maintain our wellbeing.

1. Taking a photo.

Whenever i was on my day off, i will take a stroll around my backyard or i’m with my husband will go for a walk around the nature and taking a photo. I’m not a good one on taking a photo but when i see back all those picture that i had captured i realised that it give me a satisfactions and boost up my positive mood.

2. Reading a good book

I like reading book since my young age. A good book like a self improvement and motivational one give me a positive mood by making me to do better in my life. Regardless of what is happening in my current situation now, when i get inspired story i tend to make an effort to upgrading myself without any doubt.

3. Singing and dancing

I like to singing and dancing in the same time to boost up my adrenaline rush,especially when i’m in the stress mood. I sing out of my loud in my room, and after that i feel a big relieve to myself.

4. Colouring book

I have an adult colouring book to de-stress myself. It is also lash out my inner creativity to colouring the book without being judge by mismatch the colour.

5. Put some aromatherapy

Whenever i want to have a positive enchancer, i will put my favourite aromatherapy in my room and reading my books.

I believe that some of you will have your own way how to enhance your mood of positivity. But i like to share some of my effective way that works for me,because who might know it will works on you too =)

That’s for today,stay safe and see you on my next story. How to keep own sanity during day off from work.

Every time when i was on my day off, i often keep my sanity by doing some ‘selfish’ method. It is because, for me day off is a precious time for me to have a good rest, spend time with my family. Of course to keep our own sanity during day off is to maintain our mental healthiness and to detached from the negatives vibe that we had been go through during work time.

Here is some of the tips that i would like to share:

1. Switch off the phone.

During my day off, i always switch off my phone from getting any call from my superior or colleagues. I did not put in silence mode as i tend to have a ‘soft heart’ to pick it up as i felt guilty when i didn’t pick it up. So to avoid me from having me an over-thinking for whole day, i rather switch off my phone and enjoy my day off without any guilt!

2. Having second/another mobile phone

Because i tend to switch off my phone during day off, i have another mobile phone which is i called ‘ghost phone’. This ‘ghost phone’ i used for family members, ex-classmate, business thing whatsapp group. This number only for the i mentioned so that any emergency or urgent matter, they can get through and i didn’t miss anything.

3. Reading book

I suggest to read a good book that can enhance our mood by reading such as self improvement book or bibliography one. By reading a kind of book, it gives me some inspiration and idea to take a step of changing our vision life perspective.

4. Praying / meditation

During my off day, i realise that i praying more peaceful and more concentrate compare to during my working day. It is because i was in rush and sometime i just make a simple and quick prayer for showing my gratitude. So during my day off, i take my time for praying peacefully than the usual time as i take it as to replace my rushing time with the GOD. Some of you can perform a meditation despite of our different beliefs to show our peace of mind.

5. Listening to favourite music

On the off day, i always put my favourite records from spotify or youtube music to keep my mind calmness. Music as we know is the powerful tools to make us feel better and empower especially when we have our favourite song.

6. Singing favourite song

Eventhough i don’t have an angelic voice to sing, but i always doing this during my day off. I sung my fovourite song out of my lungs and i feel all my stress out and a weigh that i carry on my shoulder feel just been lift up. Usually i sing a powerful song like a song Unstoppable by singer Sia.

7. Make something creative

During my day off, i also spent my time doing some creative activity like colouring a book to stress free myself. There’s colouring book for adult to relieve a stress and it is also leash out my inner child from that!

It is just a few tips that i able to share with you. I believe some of you have another or your own method on how you spend your time during day off.

Hopefully this time sharing that i wrote can give some idea for you to apply it =). Until we meet again on my next post…stay safe everybody.

If you don’t have something nice to say,just keep quite!

I was on night duty last 2 night ago, i was attended a mother who just having complete miscarriage and been isolated from the other mothers as she developed fever during her staying. A PCR test had been taken and while awaiting for the result she had to be quarantine to our isolation room. While i administered her antibiotic, i was stay with her while waiting for the intravenous of antibiotic finishing.

I am asking her if she still feeling feverish or had any discomfort, she smiling and said she is fine and just worried about her husband at home. I asked again if she already get or register for a vaccination, she promptly answered that she’s not yet get and register a vaccination and will decide to do it once she’s been discharged from the hospitalization. Then, she casually open up her story how she felt about her current pregnancy and having this miscarriage, her husband felt devastated as they hoping having child together after a few months of their marriage. This is her second union and she also tell me how she met her current husband. All the time i was listening while adjusting the antibiotic, sometimes i was nodding as a sign that i was listening to her story despite on full PPE that get me feel irritated and hot. All of her story i can described too “personal” and “intimate” to share with a stranger like me, but it seemed like the mother so comfortable and casually tell me about her past life with her ex husband.

When she telling me how sge used to help her ex husband to overcome his drug addiction battle, i was speechless because if i was in her shoes i will have no strength and courage like what she did just to save her marriage. Then, a qoute of ‘ if you dont’t have something nice to say,just keep quite’ popped out in my head. I patting her hand, the gesture of emotional support that i gave to her ( and i was in double glove during that time=) ).

The experince that she had facing was so bizzare for me. She felt grateful to married with her current husband and loving her the way she was. After i finished administer her antibiotic, i asked her if she would like to be turn off the light, with the terror from her eyes she said “no, just leave the light been on. I am too traumatized to sleep in the dark”. I am so overwelmed seeing her reaction and reassured her that she is in the safe place and wishing her good night. After hearing her past life story, it was not my position to judge her why she kept delirious in her sleep during my 1st previous night duty ( as we’re worked for 2 nights duty ). I thought it was the effect of the medication, but actually it was the effect of the trauma that she had experince from the years that she had to endured.

Lesson life that i get from this, if i have no something nice to say, i will just keep quite and give an emotional support. This is my sharing for today, until next we will meet again in my site. Stay safe everyone=).

If I Won The Lottery,What Would I Do?

I always dreaming of winning a lottery along my life. It was started when a few years back, i was began struggling to manage my financial due to dragging myself a huge amount of debt. Since then, i keep dreaming of winning a lottery. And of course, i will asking myself if i won the lottery what would i do?

If i won the lottery, of course first thing i’ll do is payoff my debt. I’ve been in debt for almost 10 years, it was a BIGGEST mistake i ever done in my life after i swore i won’t take any loan or debt after my study loan ( which is i still struggling paying it off now). Total of my debt is $84800.00! I know how suck i am, that’s why if i won the lottery ( no matter what amount or how big the amount is) this is the first thing i will do.

If i won the lottery, i’ll adding my current invesment and buying some stock to topup my current invesment. I just starting my investment last month which is quite late for a middle ages like me. When i add up my investment when winning a lottery, the investment is for my retire program and i use it to futher my study in Degree in Nursing.

With the money that i won from the lottery,i want to buy a land to build up my dream house and a shelter for the stray dogs to stay. It is because in my places the awareness of neutrising or spaying the stray animals still very low and most of the poor creature end up by been killed or been abandoned or abused by the owner, and it breaks my heart everytime the news of like this became a headlines in local news.

With the money from the lottery that i won, i’ll build up a school under my name or association under my name so that for the youngster and unfortunate family from the rural area having the opportunity to get a proper education and will not leave behind.

The money also i’ll use to fund a scholarships for youngster in rural area and those genius talented youngster, so that their talent will not get wasted or been deny just because they don’t have a proper financial source to continue their dreams.

For the money that i won,of course i want to provide a comfortable life for my parents, siblings and my small family of my own. After all the effort and endless support that they gave to me, i want to give something meaningful and appreciate their love to me.

I guess this is the only few of my dreams what will i do if i won a lottery, because actually i have thousand million dream and plan i’ve already list down. But the above that i stated up are the main dreams that i will fullfill if really win a lottery one day.

This is just for today,see you for my next topic or i’ll continue for a second chapter for this topic. Until then,i wrote off and see you next topic =)

A letter to myself ( teenage time)

Dear me, i’m sure right now you must in i mean we’re in doubt especially on our future and who will become our boyfriend or if we have any crush?! Fret not because let me assure you that we will get married when our time has arrive and i can give you gurantee that our Mr Right is just PERFECT for us.

Dear me, i know that we’ve been dreaming to study aboard as our destination was to be study in London. It is because we love the Royal things and of course we were dreaming to become Prince William’s princess. But darling, he is not the one for us =). And we didn’t get to study in London, in fact we spending our youth day in KL and malacca..but hey,we still having fun..i promise you that we’ll never regret any of our experince during that time. Just keep praying for us, so that every obstacle that you’re been facing now will get through. Don’t worry about that. Oh..and i forget to mention that we are a survivor, because we’re not going give up in anything that we do especially when we’re been provoked by our “frenemies”.

Dear me, if you still worry about our sense of fashion or because we can’t get a smaller size of our favourite dress or attire, don’t get too hard to our body by doing an extreme diet methods. It is because there’s a time that we will get our ideal body weight, gain weight again after married and at last losing again our weight because during our 36 years in this earth, we were been diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes Mellitus. So, just enjoy the foodie for now but don’t get too much chocolate and sweet.

Dear me,about what is our occupation for the future, well we’re somebody that helping those who are sick,in need,in labour and it is a little bit of suck you know. If you still thinking about want to become a doctor, let me tell you..just forget about it because we’ll become their team and they can’t work without us (wink..wink!). Just keep study smart and keep praying for the best for us.

Dear me, take care of your mental health and well being. Because we’ll end up having a panic attack and anxiety due to some unfortunate event in our life during our late twenties. So from now on, learn how to be cool and chilling. Whatever mummy and daddy said about us, just brace yourself because we’re going to be somebody during our late thirties. Just keep praying.

Dear me, one more thing i would like to tell you is that we’re not going to be a mother because of our health issue. So don’t worry about having or facing of experience the agony of giving birth a child =). I want you to keep learn and keep our heart become strong as we can’t shut the people’s fucking mouth by keep asking a damn question when will we having a child.

Dear me, before i’m taking off this letter, i want you to know that we will be fine and don’t get ashamed of our body anymore. Because we have a great skin that during our thirties we still looking young, younger than our youngest sisters and brothers n_n. Just embrace everything you facing now and keep praying, so that we can get through our dreams till our last breath.

Yours truly,